Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
