Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
