can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
