hell yes lets make some ravioli
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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