I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
