I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We just shotgunned beers for America
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
being pregnant is like rehab
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
