Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
