they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
