I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
