Fine. I'll sleep in my office
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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