i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
