I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize