I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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