I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
