Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
