tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
MIDGETS
????
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
