TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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