I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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