lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
