It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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