We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My feet surprised me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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