Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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