sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
