I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
