she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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