This girl is more easily done than said...
I look better un-naked...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
