new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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