Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
