these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
