screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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