There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
