I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
