i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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