Did you just see the Batmobile???
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
