afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
