I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
