part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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