I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
