Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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