I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Boobs are out for the taking
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize