I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
This baby is an asshole
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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