Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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