drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
