According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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