She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
