so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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