ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
