I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
