Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
