I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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