it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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