Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
