Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
