Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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