So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
