So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
