I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
