put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
