Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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