just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
