he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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