so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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