her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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