he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
