turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
