i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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