Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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