I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
