why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
