All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize