So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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