So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
