You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
