Are we in a gay sports bar?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
