Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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