If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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