Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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