they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize